Reservation For One – Chronicles of gay dating in New York City
Being gay and single in a new city is always an adventure, especially when living in New York City. Moving to a new city opens up so many opportunities to meet new characters and have plenty of real life movie scenes. In a typical city, new gay men are like fresh meat. We are a rarity and everyone wants to try a piece. New York is less than typical and what I have found here, besides the meat factor, is that there are a lot of hungry carnivores. Coming from San Francisco, also thought of as the gay Mecca, I was shocked and truly disturbed in the best possible way about how many single gay men are available for the picking in the big apple.
San Francisco always seemed to be a melting pot of incestuous men. Everyone knew everyone and everyone had been with everyone. The seven degrees of separation usually tended to be more like 2 degrees. It’s been thrilling to have a higher density of men in a more compact city. But is having too many options such a good thing?
New York gays work fast and I mean fast. They know what they are looking for and don’t tend to waste time with you. Before someone even agrees to meet you in person, a checklist of prerequisites are usually asked. I mean, there must be some standardized checklist I don’t have access to yet. Maybe it comes with time and seniority? The basics are always covered; occupation, age, sexual positioning preferences and of course the most important of them all, your neighborhood of residence.
Manhattan is a tiny island. Literally, it’s tiny. But getting from one neighborhood to another seems to be inexplicably complicated for just about everyone here. If you live on the East side, good luck finding a willing partner on the West side. Uptown to Midtown, villages to kitchens in hell to squares to stations to many other insanely awesome names New Yorkers’ name their hoods. It’s a puzzle that takes time to decipher.
So although there may be more to choose from here, their extreme selectivity makes things a bit more complicated. It’s important to distinguish between the men out here as well. There are those who are actively looking to date and be in a relationship and then there are those who just want to take you to bed. There are plenty of the latter and they tend to come in helpful between interviews.
New York is fast paced. Everyone and everything is always on hyper speed here. Taking a moment to stop and think about anything on your mind will most likely cause you to miss an opportunity and most definitely will get you run over by the highway of non-stop zoo animals in this concrete jungle. But sometimes you need to pull over, contemplate things, and make time for yourself. That’s the nice thing about this city. The men will always be here and there are new ones being shipped in daily.
I’m hoping that over the next few weeks of my official settling in period, the fascination with turning on my 5 location based gay dating apps will eventually wear off and I can focus on actually trying to meet some of these so called quality men who are ready to take the next step and be in a committed relationship. A real relationship. Not one of those open ones where there are rule changes during the course of the game. In the end, a relationship is like a game. We hope to score plenty of goals during the course of them and can only pray for overtime.